Short Subjectives May 25 2005

Opening Wednesday

THE SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS (PG) Based on Ann Brashares’ novel, this film depicts four 16-year-old girls who share a pair of thrift-shop blue jeans one summer. Alexis Bledel and Amber Tamblyn star in what’s sure to be the year’s finest pants-based metaphor for sisterhood.

Opening Friday

LAYER CAKE (R) See review on p. 71.

THE LONGEST YARD (PG-13) An incarcerated pro quarterback (Adam Sandler) leads a team of inmates in a grudge football match against the prison guards. Burt Reynolds starred in the 1974 original and turns up here as an imprisoned coach. Does this mean that Sandler is the Burt Reynolds of our time?

MADAGASCAR (PG) See review on p. 72.

MAJOR DUNDEE (1965) (PG-13) See review on p. 74.

Duly Noted

BREAD AND TULIPS (2000) (NR) In this Italian comedy, German film star Bruno Ganz plays a suicidal Icelandic waiter living amongst a group of eccentrics in Venice. Recent Films from Germany. June 1, 7 p.m. Goethe Institute Inter Nationes, 1197 Peachtree St., Colony Square. $4. 404-892-2388.

FROM THE OTHER SIDE (2002) (NR) This Film Love event presents European director Chantal Akerman’s acclaimed drama about life on both sides of the U.S./Mexico border. May 26, 8 p.m. Eyedrum, Suite 8, 290 Martin Luther King Jr. Drive. $5 (Free for IMAGE members). 404-522-0655. www.eyedrum.org.

THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW (1975) (R) The cult classic of cult classics, the musical horror spoof follows an all-American couple (Susan Sarandon and Barry Bostwick) to the castle of Dr. Frank-N-Furter (Tim Curry), a drag-queen/mad scientist from another galaxy. It’s all fun and games until Meat Loaf gets killed. Dress as your favorite character and participate in this musical on acid. Midnight Fri. at Lefont Plaza Theatre and Sat. at Peachtree Cinema & Games, Norcross.

Continuing

THE AMITYVILLE HORROR (R) As a creep show, this slicked-up hokum (based on Jay Anson’s novel) about a haunted house is painfully inadequate, preferring to traffic in quick shots of blood-dripping ghouls than establishing any real sense of dread. I’ve seen episodes of “Sesame Street” that were more frightening than this generic junk. - Matt Brunson

CRASH (R) Writer/director Paul Haggis (whose Million Dollar Baby script won an Oscar) presents one of those sprawling multi-character films set in Southern California, only it emphasizes racism as the unifying element. Both thought-provokingly relevant and shamelessly manipulative, Crash presents a simmering melting pot of frustrated Los Angelenos waiting to take out their rage on the first person of a different color who crosses their path. The engrossing scenes and dedicated actors (including Don Cheadle as an honest LAPD detective) make up for the heavy-handed storytelling. - Curt Holman

DOWNFALL (R) The surreal horrors of war alternate with intimate close-ups of the final days of the Third Reich’s command in Oliver Hirschbiegel’s powerful film. Bruno Ganz provides a terrifying yet humanizing portrayal of an aging Hitler, capable of both monstrous cruelty and unexpected tenderness. The scrupulously researched film offers eyewitness accounts of the chaotic collapse of Berlin’s defenses and, within Hitler’s bunker, the destruction of Nazi illusions of greatness. - CH

ENRON: THE SMARTEST GUYS IN THE ROOM (NR) Alex Gibney’s documentary about the rise of the business world’s $65 billion uber-successful Enron empire and its subsequent undoing is as much fun as can be had watching the gory spectacle of American greed in action. Though American legend has since recast the tale of Enron into aberrant corporate legend, to Gibney’s credit, he spreads blame around and shows how the particular immorality of placing money before people practiced to an excessive degree at Enron is just standard operating procedure in an American business world and government deeply tied to the Enron fall. - Felicia Feaster

THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY (PG) After alien bureaucrats blow up the Earth, the last surviving Englishman (“The Office’s” Martin Freeman) reluctantly treks through the stars to find the ultimate answer to life, the universe and everything. Supporting players like Bill Nighy and the clever visual design best capture the deadpan comedy of Douglas Adams’ beloved novel, but otherwise the film resorts to a strained, frenzied pace. “Don’t Panic” may be the motto of the galactic travel guide that gives this sci-fi spoof its name, but director Garth Jennings’ film often feels on the verge of freaking out. - CH

HOUSE OF WAX (R) My contempt for this remake of the 1953 classic is so great that I’m reluctant to even call it a “film,” as that designation automatically places it in the pantheon of works by Welles, Hitchcock, Bergman and even Ed Wood. This film finds a group of dim-witted kids serving as slasher fodder for murderous twin brothers. This House has been built by mercenaries, not moviemakers. - MB

IMAX THEATER: Bugs! (NR) A praying mantis and a butterfly “star” in this documentary about the insects of the Borneo rainforest - some of whom will be magnified 250,000 times their normal size on the IMAX screen. The Living Sea (NR) Humpback whales, golden jellyfish and giant clams star in this documentary about the diversity of undersea life, with music by Sting and narrated by Meryl Streep. (CH) Fernbank Museum of Natural History IMAX Theater, 767 Clifton Road. 404-929-6300. www.fernbank.edu.

THE INTERPRETER (PG-13) Despite the way it uses African genocide as rocket fuel for its thrill ride, Sydney Pollack’s film is a moderately stylish, serviceable drama about a United Nations interpreter (Nicole Kidman) raised in Africa who overhears a murder plot against the leader of her violence-torn African homeland. The Secret Service agent (Sean Penn) who initially thinks she may be involved in the assassination conspiracy transforms into her protector. The fact that Pollack had permission to shoot in the U.N. adds immeasurably to its slick good looks, though the film never follows through on its initial advocacy for peaceniking over warmongering. - FF

IT’S ALL GONE PETE TONG (R) You don’t have to be versed in the dance-club scene to dig the grooves and laugh at the jokes in this faux documentary about fictional superstar DJ Frankie Wilde (the comical yet poignant Paul Kaye). The splashy first half provides a kind of Spinal Tap spoof of music industry excess, but when Frankie goes deaf, the film provides a quirky yet intriguing perspective on disabilities. Ultimately, it has less in common with 24 Hour Party People than Children of a Lesser God. - CH

KICKING AND SCREAMING (PG) (PG) Will Ferrell’s meek soccer dad gets in touch with his repressed rage when he coaches his son’s losing team and goes head-to-head with his hyper-competitive dad (Robert Duvall, tweaking his Great Santini role). Ferrell’s primal-scream shtick perfectly suits the timely subject matter, but by the time he cuts loose, it’s too little, too late. Kicking & Sucking would be a more accurate title. - CH

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN (R) Director Ridley Scott and screenwriter William Monahan take great pains to make sure the Arabs are not unduly villainized in his ho-hum Crusades epic of one bloody period in the century-spanning Christian battle for control of the Holy Land. Orlando Bloom, whose charismatic kilowattage is a mere flicker compared to that other Ridley Scott hunk, Russell Crowe, plays a humble French blacksmith who transforms into one of those oxymorons so beloved by Hollywood: a pacifist who knows when to lay down the cross and start kicking some ass. - FF

KUNG FU HUSTLE (R) Stephen Chow, director of the little-seen but superbly silly Shaolin Soccer, drop-kicks the kung fu genre in this goofy, gravity-defying combo of two-fisted action flick and anything for a laugh parody. Matrix-style computer effects serve inventive, Mad Magazine-style sight gags, in which gangsters break into dance routines and middle-aged dorks turn out to be martial arts masters. If a bit more cartoonish than necessary, Kung Fu Hustle still puts a supersonic spin on the chop-sockey flick. - CH

LOOK AT ME (PG-13) This Cannes Film Festival Best Screenplay winner depicts the relationship between a celebrity novelist and his overweight, insecure daughter, who tries to use singing to assert her own identity.

MILLIONS (PG) Danny Boyle (Trainspotting, 28 Days Later) applies his special effects-heavy hand to the story of 7-year-old Damian (a routinely adorable and freckled Alex Etel) whose imaginary friends are Catholic saints. When a bag stuffed with money falls from a passing train, Damian wants to give the windfall to charity and his older brother wants to invest it in real estate. But the saints and the spiritual dilemma of how to spend that money are just two of Boyle’s many passing fancies. He is far more interested in doing visual loop-de-loops and imagining that childhood wonder is best evoked with gee-whiz effects. - FF

MINDHUNTERS (R) A serial killer stalks a group of FBI trainees on an isolated island in this long-shelved thriller directed by Renny Harlin. This rip-off of Agatha Christie’s Ten Little Indians features unintentional hilarious action scenes, “CSI”-style montages and slumming actors (Christian Slater, Val Kilmer) practically counting the minutes until they can cash their paychecks. - CH

MONDOVINO (PG-13) You don’t have to be a wine connoisseur to appreciate this globe-trotting documentary made by filmmaker/sommelier Jonathan Nossiter about the enormous divide globalization has created in the wine industry. On one hand are the nouveau California vineyards that use every man-made technology and improvement money can buy to turn out a consistent product. On the other are the small Italian and French wine producers who view making wine as nothing less than a sacred act and embrace the complex, character-filled wine produced for centuries on their land. Nossiter makes no bones about who he’s rooting for. But even an obvious directorial skew can’t detract from this film’s profundity and the sense that this industry reflects enormous, disturbing changes afoot. - FF

MONSTER-IN-LAW (PG-13) In the tradition of Meet the Parents’s in-law anxiety, Jane Fonda plays a designer-clad, high-powered mother-in-law who violently disapproves of her surgeon son’s choice of a new girlfriend (Jennifer Lopez), a slackeresque temp. Fonda has campy fun in her return to the screen after 15 years, but when the comedy turns from her slapstick attempts to drive her daughter-in-law mad to Lopez’s revenge, the film loses any energy Fonda’s performance generated. Fonda has fun with the lightweight material, but nothing can distract from some fairly unimaginative plotting and Lopez’s failure to hold up her end of the comedy. - FF

OFF THE MAP (PG-13) Roger Dodger director Campbell Scott helms this hopeful tale of a free-spirited New Mexican couple (Sam Elliott and The Upside of Anger’s Joan Allen) and their bow-hunting 11-year-old daughter.

OLDBOY (R) Director Park Chanwook earns his status in the vanguard of new Korean cinema with this high-style revenge picture about an ordinary Seoul salaryman who is abducted and imprisoned by unknown forces for 15 years. When Oh Dae-su (Choi Min-sik) finally makes it out of that amateur prison, he has an unquenchable thirst for revenge. The violent way he meets his goal gives the film a stomach-churning grindhouse quality, but Chanwook’s visual audacity and tragic tone creates a film that goes far beyond Tarantino-style shock effects. - FF

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET (NR) A retired woman (Central Station’s Fernando Montenegro) snoops on her neighbors until she thinks she sees an ex-cop commit murder. This Brazilian film emphasizes themes of love and loneliness more than suspense.

SAHARA (PG-13) There is something about the cocky, thrill-seeking, globe-trotting adventurer Dirk Pitt with his ability to stamp out the world’s problems in a single-blow that just seems, well, ill-timed considering the mounting crises of African genocide and the war in Iraq raging abroad. In this cartoonish adaptation of adventure novelist Clive Cussler’s novel, Pitt is a former Navy SEAL turned international treasure hunter with the cool of James Bond and the chops of an army-of-one. He’s in Africa hunting a long-lost Civil War battleship and helping a World Health Organization doctor (Penelope Cruz) find the source of a plague killing local villagers in this theme park ride of a movie, not surprisingly directed by outgoing Disney C.E.O. Michael Eisner’s son Breck Eisner. - FF

SIN CITY (R) Based on Frank Miller’s hard-boiled cult comic books of the same name, Sin City wallows unapologetically in violence, T&A and other preoccupations of adolescent boys of all ages. Co-directors Miller and Robert Rodriguez leer over interlocking tales of chivalrous antiheroes (led by a hulkingly charismatic Mickey Rourke) who take on a corrupt city’s sadistic power brokers. Though the film’s black-and-white images can sear your retinas, its repetitive plots, grisly slapstick and predictable misogyny can leave you embarrassed to be a geek. - CH

STAR WARS EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE SITH (PG-13) George Lucas gets his Sith together for the fast-paced, thematically dark and politically pointed final chapter of his space opera saga. As Darth-Vader-to-be, Hayden Christensen still comes across as a Hitler Youth Mark Hamill, but his adolescent-sized angst doesn’t diminish the film’s increasingly apocalyptic tone. Though the nonstop battle scenes (Droids! Wookies! Duplicitous heads of state!) make the film feel like an immersive video game, the dark subject matter gives weight to the sci-fi swashbuckling. - CH

A TALE OF TWO PIZZAS (NR) A feud erupts between two tough New York families over who makes the best pizzas in this comedy directed by Vincent Sassone that stars “Sopranos” veterans Frank Vincent and Vincent “Big Pussy” Pastore. (Just imagine how many heads turned when someone shouted “Hey, Vinnie!” on the set.)

UNLEASHED (R) Who let Jet Li out? The martial arts star plays a nameless enforcer, conditioned by a Scottish mobster (Bob Hoskins) to be a ruthless fighter, only to discover his humanity when befriended by a blind piano tuner (Morgan Freeman). Written and produced by La Femme Nikita’s Luc Besson.

WALK ON WATER (NR) While on assignment in Berlin, a ruthless, homophobic Israeli intelligence agent befriends the gay grandson of his target, a Nazi war criminal. With subtitles.

THE WILD PARROTS OF TELEGRAPH HILL (NR) Homeless musician Mark Bittner becomes caretaker to San Francisco’s populace of brightly plumed wild parrots in this likable documentary. Practically on a first-name basis with the birds, Bittner identifies with the birds’ “outsider” status and other surprisingly human personality traits. With the relaxed, ambling structure of a walk in the park, the documentary offers a kind of bird’s-eye view of the misplaced priorities of modern life. - CH

XXX: STATE OF THE UNION (PG-13) With Vin Diesel branching out as the Pacifier, Ice Cube plays another “extreme” secret agent in this sequel to XXX, concerning militaristic crazies trying to take over the U.S. government. Sure, like that could ever happen.??