Hollywood Product March 22 2006

Genre: Buddy comedy

Opens: Now playing

The pitch: Bumbling NYC detective Washburn (“Saturday Night Live’s” Jimmy Fallon) wrecks so many cars he loses his driver’s license, forcing him to team with speed-demon cabbie Belle (Queen Latifah) to chase four Über-hot Brazilian bank robbers, led by supermodel Gisele Bundchen as Vanessa.

Product placement: The movie amounts to a series of show-offy car chases involving Vanessa’s red BMW 760 and Belle’s yellow Crown Victoria taxi, tricked-out like a racecar. Belle is mortified, though, to ride in Washburn’s dinky Daewoo.

Flesh factor: After one getaway, Vanessa’s gang strips down to bikinis and short-shorts to distract traffic cops, and they look great. But the film makes the cardinal mistake of letting a supermodel talk: “Gimmee da gash or I chute da gyurl!” Vanessa orders at one point.

Money shots: The high-velocity, low-to-the-ground camerawork keeps the chase scenes fast and furious. Belle’s angry boyfriend (Henry Simmons) blowtorches Washburn’s police ID, so the cop must flash a scorched, unrecognizable badge in a decent running joke.

Best line: Washburn weakly tries to excuse his disastrous driving record by saying “We all have our weaknesses. Superman has Kryptonite, Indiana Jones has snakes, Whitney Houston has Bobby Brown — and vice versa.”

Hit single: When Washburn mellows out behind the wheel by singing along to Natalie Cole’s “This Will Be (An Everlasting Love),” Fallon’s piercing falsetto qualifies as a lethal weapon.

Gratuitous cameo: Champion racer Jeff Gordon has a drive-by in a dream-come-true epilogue for NASCAR-obsessed Belle. Ann-Margret briefly turns up as Washburn’s boozing, smothering mom and runs off with the biggest laughs.

Better than the original? Beats me. France’s 1998 action-comedy of the same name has never been released stateside. Writer/producer Luc Besson also produced this one, suggesting that the American Taxi might be one of those French tricks to make the U.S. look bad.

Inside joke: A garbage man in cahoots with the crooks is named Anthony Scalia. Strangely, when we see him, his nametag clearly reads “John” — I guess if my name was that close to conservative Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia’s, I’d use a nickname, too.

The bottom line: As both a big-screen funnyman and a police officer, Fallon comes across like a Gen Z Jerry Lewis, so his antics to redeem himself prove neither amsing nor desirable. Queen Latifah emerges with her sexy confidence intact, but Taxi runs down so many buddy-flick cliches that it deserves a traffic ticket for a movie violation.