Lust List 2016: Trish: Barber, Headquarters Traditional Barbering

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Job: Barber, Headquarters Traditional Barbering
Age: 36
Relationship Status: Taken

Trish aka Dickie Van Dyke’s down-home charm immediately hits you like a ton of hotcakes at the annual Cornbread Festival (seriously, her home state, Tennessee, has an annual cornbread festival). “She has brooding eyes but the most attractive thing about her is her brain,” says her nominator. Well, that and the fact that she has “the best hair in Atlanta.” Quirky but cool, Trish admits she’s “kinda old school,” although she cuts a mean rug once you get her on the dance floor, making her one of the star attractions at Blast-Off Burlesque. — Jacinta Howard


THE SHOW DOESN’T STOP

I was doing this Abba number with Blast-Off Burlesque and I wiped out in the wings because I was wearing dress socks on the slippery wood floor. I bashed my face against the stage and fractured my cheek bone. I finished the show with a concussion and giant black eye that lasted for six months. I probably should’ve gone to the hospital. Instead, I did two back-to-back shows the next night.


FROM THE NOMINATOR: What’s your guiltiest guilty pleasure?

Well, when it comes to pleasure, I generally have no guilt. But if I have to answer, it’s gonna be doughnuts. I will tear up a box of doughnuts like nobody’s business.

What band were you obsessed with when you were 14?

The Velvet Underground. I was really obsessed with them.

How many dates before you go all the way?

Well, that’s a tricky question. At least a few. I’m kinda old school.

What’s your most gruesome childhood injury?

I fell off my skateboard and got a rock lodged in my chin. I was rough and tumble.

What’s your favorite curse word?

“Fuck” probably, because I use it all the damn time.

Name the craziest place you’ve done the deed.

I guess in my parent’s bed, if we’re gonna be honest about it. Sorry, mom and dad. Laughs Ah, they know. We’re all adults.

If you were convicted of a crime, what would it be?

Probably like a jewel heist or something.

When’s the last time you cried and why?

Oh man, this morning. This week’s been one of those weeks. But you know, it’s all good.

Name a celebrity that you could take in a fight?

Donald Trump. I could take his ass. I could totally take his ass.

Who would you most like to play spin the bottle with?

Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Elizabeth Warren because it could get really weird, and throw John Waters in there, too.

Have you had a life-changing experience?

Every day is a life-changing experience. Maybe the biggest was when I started performing in drag with Blast-Off Burlesque. It helped me become more accepting of my own gender identity and the fluidity of gender in the world. I think working with the character of Dickie helped broaden all of our ideas about gender, sexuality, and the lines that unite and divide.

What’s the lamest pick-up line someone has tried to use on you?

The whole “you’re hot” kinda deal. In that mouth open kind of way. I’m a straightforward person and it works but that’s not the first thing that you say to somebody.

Name the last book you couldn’t finish.

Houses of Earth by Woody Guthrie. I never got through it. It was good but life happened and I put it down.

What’s your preferred cocktail?

Manhattan or whiskey straight up.


Which is more your style, Red Bull or Chamomile tea?

Chamomile tea

Who would play you in a movie?

Well, I’ve been told that I look a lot like Johnny Depp. We’re both kinda quirky and weird. Either him or John Waters.

What do you wish someone would hurry up and invent?

Teleportation machines. We’ve got the Internet. Let’s make it really small.

What one item would you save if your house was flooded?

Can pets be an item? I’d say my dog and my cat.

How would you hold up under torture.

I think I’d be really good with torture. I can keep my mouth shut.

What happens when you die?

Probably rest a little bit and come back and do it all over again.

How do you like to spend a rainy day.

Drinking coffee, watching movies, cleaning house, reading. Art.

What’s in your glove box?

A toothbrush. Some plastic forks, a napkin and a straw. And my registration and owner’s manual for my truck.

Who was your first crush — real person and famous?

First crush was Madonna. Real person was my third grade teacher. I had a big crush on her.

What would your last meal be if you were on death row?

Biscuits and gravy, fried chicken, and apple pie.

What movie is your life most like?

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas laughing. No I’m kidding, I’m not that drunk yet. Maybe O’ Brother, Where Art Thou?

What’s your best move on the dance floor?

I can do this James Brown drop it down kick, spin, and get back up. Oh yeah, I own the dance floor.

What’s the sexiest part of the male and female anatomy?

With women, the brain. And with men, their heart space.

What’s the best album to make out to?

Billie Holiday. Like, her greatest hits to just go generic. Give me that old stuff.