Real Housewives of Atlanta” Season 4 Ep. 8: God gave Kim Zolciak a hole to ___”

Ep. 8: God gave Kim Zolciak a hole to ___

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  • NBC Universal
  • Who would sleep with someone for money, naively wonders Kim Zolciak

Fill in the blank. “God gave you a hole to” ... Sip from a bendy straw? Score a golf hole in one? Hide pirated treasure in? Please enlighten us, moral deity Kim Zolciak:

“God gave you a hole to get your money from.” Ohh, to do that. Kim is of course referring to Marlo Hampton, the non-Housewife socialite dating the former fling of Nene Leakes. Last week, Kandi Burruss had Marlo on her hit show “Kandi Koated Nights” (voted number one by crackheads with an Internet connection at 3 am) and asked Marlo where she got her money from. The answer: gold-digging. But Marlo immediately pulled the Beyonce Knowles approach and answered, “God.”

The scene: Cynthia Bailey’s Modeling Agency opening, aptly titled the Bailey Agency. Kandi is rehashing what Marlo said on her show, and Marlo is dropping “Big Poppa” as a pseudonym for “Sugar Daddy” left and right. Of course Big Poppa was Kim’s previous sugar daddy before current baby daddy and Falcons professional athlete Kroy Biermann. “I’ve heard Marlo sleeps with wealthy men and they give her money or buy her nice things,” Kim tells the camera. “Who does that?” Kim wasn’t having any of it, so she and Kroy left the party. Speaking of which, Kim moved into Kroy’s Roswell McMansion this episode. The producers cut to a maudlin flashback of Kim’s Duluth townhouse and all the memories shared in that warm, Herpes-ridden hearth. Kim had her visitors sign their name to a small wall to remember their entrance a la Chez Kim. (Her daughter wrote “Moose” over Nene’s signature. Ha!) Of course Kim moved her wigs personally with her in the car, each one more precious than the last with stripperific names like Farrah, Sierra, Dolly, Candy and Ridickulous. By the way, as decreed by Sir Andy Cohen, from this day forward, all sugar daddies shall hence be known as Big Poppas.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.