The Walking Dead’ recap: ‘Tainted meat!’

• Gene Page/AMC
• THE WATCHMAN: Abraham (Michael Cudlitz) has his eyes set on Washington D.C.

God bless Chad Coleman. No, I really man that. I didn’t realize how much I loved his playing Tyreese until last night when our hardened, heartbroken hero watched in terror as Rick, Sasha, and company brutally laid waste to Gareth and the cannibals inside of a church. As satisfying as it was to watch our survivors stab, bludgeon, and gun-butt their antagonists to death in “Four Walls and a Roof,” the look of pure disgust and horror on the burley actor’s face reminded us, once again, that on “The Walking Dead” the actions of the living are often more heinous than the undead. But before we dig into last night’s climax, which was the “Walking Dead” equivalent of the famous Red Wedding episode from “Game of Thrones” (sans the killing of any major characters, unless you count Gareth), let’s see how we got there.

Last week: The preacher’s wife

Things led off with poor, poor Bob (Lawrence Gilliard, Jr.) still listening to Gareth (Andrew J. West) babble on about eating people and why taking a fork and knife to women, especially, is our villain’s favorite great American zombie apocalypse pastime. The fuck? Bob turns the tables on these people munchers by revealing that they’re eating “Tainted meat!”, as he was bitten by a walker back when the gang went on a mission to the food bank last week. Yes, I started to scream “Tainted meat!” at the screen with joy like I was in on the plan with Bob. They drop him back off at the church where he reveals to everyone there, his boo Sasha (Sonequa Martin-Green) included, that he’s infected and will turn any day now. Side note: I find it hard to really care about any of the romances with the exception of Glenn (Steven Yeun) and Maggie (Lauren Cohan).

Before Bob’s return Sasha and Rick got Father Gabriel (Seth Gillam) to spill the beans on why we’re all valid in assuming that’s he’s got some dark secret he’s keeping from everyone. Long story short, the preacher led his congregation to zombie pasture by being the guy who “always locks the doors” even if that means women and children pleading for their lives outside the church while being devoured by walkers. Still, methinks there’s something more Father Gabriel might be hiding, but I’m just not quite sure what.

One thing is for sure, Abraham Ford (Michael Cudlitz) is still set on getting the gang to Washington D.C., with or without Daryl (Norman Reedus) and Carol (more on that in a second) who are apparently missing in action. Abraham tells Rick that the bus they fixed up his headed to D.C. in t-minus 12 hours. In that time, a lot of shit happens: like Carol (Melissa McBride) did to his lover, Tyreese (with Sasha’s blessing) takes a knife to Bob’s temple, making sure he does’t turn; Gareth and company return and are slaughtered by Rick (guess his whole “they’re screwing with the wrong people” line was dead-on); Michonne got her sword back; and Glenn and Maggie decide to join Abraham’s D.C.-bound bandwagon, leaving the others behind. Speaking of my favorite couple, I’ve got a bad feeling about their forthcoming trip to the District.

We close things out with Michonne running into Daryl, who looks like he’s been to hell and back. Michonne asks where Carol is to which Daryl responds by looking back and saying, “Come on out,” but the ep abruptly ends before it’s revealed whom is with our bowman. Looks like Mr. Reedus has some explaining to do.

BEST QUOTE
“You join us or feed us.” Gareth to to Bob

WTF MOMENT
Um, yeah Gareth saying “I’m starting to like this girl,” after hearing baby Judith crying in the church.

RANDOM ASIDES
- The previews for next week suggests we will be catching up with Beth (Emily Kinney), which makes me think that she’s not the person(s) with Daryl at the ep’s end. So who is it? Just Carol? Doubtful.
- Feel like we need some more of Steven Yeun this season. Just a thought.
- Last week some of y’all mentioned the mystery marker on the tree by the church. It popped up again, earlier in the ep, right before Sasha was attacked by a few walkers.