Game of Thrones’ recap: ‘Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken’

A spoiler for my feelings about the end of this episode: Booo! Booo, I say!
But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

We revisit Arya doing the same thing we saw her doing the last time — washing a body at the House of Black and White. Whenever she’s done cleaning a corpse, guys take the body through a mysterious forbidden door, and whenever Arya asks about it — or anything — Jaquen or his young female colleague deflect her questions. It feels to me like the Faceless Men, in addition to being badass assassins and right-to-death advocates, are a straight-up cult, and are subjecting Arya to cultish manipulation techniques, like menial labor and impossible tests.

The young Faceless Woman, for instance, shares her backstory about being a privileged Westerosi heiress with a wicked stepmother, then asks Arya, “Was that the truth or a lie?” “Wot?” Arya asks, thrown by the idea that such a cool story might not be real. Jaquen visits Arya in her room and gives her a barrage of questions, striking her for every lie. (Interestingly, Arya’s stated hatred of Sandor Cleghane “reads” as a lie.)

Arya picks up on the slippery distinction between truth and lies. When a father brings his painfully dying daughter to the House, Arya tells a surprisingly persuasive lie that she had been dying of an illness, drank from the (poisoned) fountain and now serves the Many-Faced God, to ease the ailing girl into drinking the poison and passing on. The next time Arya cleans a corpse, the mystery door is left open, and Jaquen shows her a gigantic chamber with pillars in which are stored countless heads, or life masks — it’s like the storeroom of the Faceless Men’s faces. “A girl is not ready to become no one. But she is ready to become someone else,” says Jaquen. It’s like Arya is learning to become an actress.

Somewhere near Mereen, Tyrion and Jorah have a rest at another gorgeous coastal vista and talk a little about fathers. Tyrion reveals that he killed his own father and why, and Jorah looks hilariously uncomfortable — he’d loosen his necktie and tug at his collar if he had those. Tyrion then reveals that Jorah’s own father, former head of the Night’s Watch, has died, and Iain Glen has another great moment of quiet grief.

Later, their stroll becomes a little more interesting when they’re captured by slavers (lead by “Lost”’s Mr. Eko), who plans to ship Jorah to the salt mines, slash Tyrion’s throat, cut off his cock, and sell it for luck. (I’m just repeating what they said.) Tyrion, in perhaps the show’s fastest sales pitch, argues that they won’t be able to prove it’s a dwarf cock if he’s not still attached to it, and builds up Jorah as a great gladiator for Mereen’s newly opened fighting pits. The slaver’s amused by his patter and puts them back on the road to Mereen, albeit under different circumstances.

Littlefinger shows up in King’s Landing (which is apparently a thousand miles from Winterfell, even though the travel time only takes a couple of episodes). After deflecting a threat from Lancel Lannister regarding the new religious order, Littlefinger not only meets with Cersei and pledges his loyalty, he reveals that Sansa Stark is in Winterfell. Cersei’s spitting mad about it and wants to send troops, but neither her uncle Kevan nor Jaime are available. Littlefinger offers to send the army of the Vale to fight the Boltons and retrieve Sansa, requesting being named the Warden of the North (Roose Bolton’s job) as his price. I’m not sure I can keep up with how many long games Littlefinger is playing.

As a schemer, Cersei seems not as far-sighted as Littlefinger, but her plot is paying short-term dividends. Lady Olenna (Diana Rigg), matriarch of the Tyrells, returns to King’s Landing to rescue Loras and generally kick ass. Cersei gives her a frosty reception, shrugging that she didn’t arrest Loras — the church did, but the inquest against Loras should be a mere formality. At the hearing, Loras denies “fornication” and Margaery, under oath, denies knowledge of it — but there’s a surprise witness! The squire from the season’s first episode, who mentioned Loras’s Dorne-shaped birthmark, testifies not only that they had a fling, but that Margaery knows about it. So not only will Loras go to trial, but so will Margaery — Cersei’s real target all along. Everything’s coming up Cersei! And really, what are the odds that alienating Westeros’s second-richest family and unleashing armed religious zealots could come back to bite her?

Meanwhile, Cersei’s twin Jaime has finally arrived at Dorne’s capital, Bronn singing at his side. Jaime’s “niece” Myrcella has apparently fallen in love with her intended Dornish fiancé, Trystane, and they coo at each other a little bit. Jaime shows up to greet Myrcella just as the three Sand Snakes, each with their signature weapon, show up for a little melee in what looks like a botanical garden. Whips! Spears! Swords! The Dornish head guard breaks it up before Myrcella gets harmed. I hope that’s not it for the Sand Snakes, because they haven’t lived up to the hype.

At Winterfell, Myranda — the kennel keeper’s daughter and Ramsay’s most recent lover — comes to Sansa’s room to draw her bath before the wedding. There’s a lovely image of the dark dye being rinsed from Sansa’s hair, implying that Sansa’s true self will emerge. Myranda drops hints of Ramsay’s vicious behavior when he loses interest in his lovers, mostly to mess with her (even though it happens to be true). With great bearing, the reluctant bride replies, “I am Sansa Stark of Winterfell. This is my home and you can’t frighten me.” Go Sansa.

Then Theon, all dressed up and de-Reeked, shows up to escort Sansa to the wedding in the God’s Wood. Wait a minute, the wedding’s happening now? In this episode? But it wasn’t in the previews! In her cool white, furry cloak, Sansa is vowing to marry Ramsay Bolton! Isn’t someone going to intervene? Brienne! Stannis! Ghost! Anybody?

But no — they’re married and we segue to the bedroom, where it doesn’t take long for Ramsay’s sadistic manner to come out. Theon identified himself by his real name during the service, but Ramsay calls him “Reek” and forces him to watch the imminent deflowering. Sansa’s clearly revolted, but acquiesces. Ordered to undress, she fumbles with her sleeves — will she pull out a night and stab him? Nope. Will Theon attack Ramsay? Nope! Ramsay bends her over the bed, we hear a rustle of clothing, Sansa winces — cut to black.

Booo! Booo, I say!

Now, this might be some kind of cliffhanger and Sansa’s virtue will be saved from Ramsay at the last minute. And while I would love to be wrong about this, I don’t think that’s going to happen. So after all of Sansa’s travails — being engaged to Joffrey, tormented by him, forcibly wed to Tyrion, shuttled to the Vale and then Winterfell, this happens? It’s like her fate was to fall victim to a grotesque, abusive, demeaning wedding night — her canceled engagement to Joffrey only kicked that can down the road.

It’s not like we don’t know what show we’re watching: “Game of Thrones” is not the kind of show where you should expect the last minute rescue of virgins from nasty bad guys. But usually the show’s horrors and misfortunes feel organic from the medieval-style setting of war-torn Westeros, where the powerful prey on the weak and chaos walks the last. This feels like a contrivance on the part of the writers, who normally are reliable stewards in adapting the massive story of the books. It feels like they’re messing with us. We’ll see how this plays out.

Notes
- Offstage this week: the Wall, Stannis’ army, Mereen

- Nerd references: “Who are you?” the question from the Faceless Men, is also a pertinent recurring question on “Babylon 5,” which doesn’t get nearly enough credit as a serialized TV saga. Also, the giant chamber with the faces reminded me of the mines of Moria from the film version of The Fellowship of the Rings.

- The opening credits said “With Iain Glen,” a format I hadn’t noticed before. Is he leaving the show or something?

- The episode name comes from the motto of House Martell, but they seemed kind of bowed the last time we saw them this week.