Ben’s Sports Take: 11 Predictions Guarantees for 2011 (Part II)

Here’s a list of 11 things that will definitely happen in 2011-I guarantee it...maybe.

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Here’s the second installment of my list of sportsy-type things that will absolutely, definitely, guaranteed, positively take place over the next 12 months...or not.

I cranked the list up to 11 and each prediction guarantee is progressively more likely to occur as the numbers fall. In other words, the lower the number, the more likely the events are to happen. (But they’re all guarantees, so that shouldn’t really matter)
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PART II

7. Chipper Jones plays season on one leg (literally)
After spending the past seven months rehabilitating from ACL surgery, Chipper Jones starts the season at third base and in his usual No. 3 spot in the Braves batting lineup. Unfortunately, recovering from a torn ACL proves harder than Jones anticipated so, in order to make the Opening Day lineup, Chipper is forced to saw off his left leg in an effort to alleviate the pain of his surgically repaired knee.

In an interesting twist, Jones decides to use his recently detached appendage as a bat for what one can only deduce as an act of nostalgic delusion.

After his first at-bat—where he swings, whiffs, falls over and weeps—Jones decides to retire.