Ben’s Sports Take: Hawks win...I eat

In case you aren’t one of the four people who frequent my weekly sports column, it would be the understatement of the decade to say that I’m not exactly the biggest Hawks fan.

With the absurdly indefensible re-signing of Joe Johnson, the countless player transaction errors and perhaps the worst ownership in the entire NBA, it’s become increasingly difficult for me to continue rooting for a franchise as clueless as this one.

But despite all of my Hawks bashing over the past year or so, I decided to put my pessimism where my mouth is—LITERALLY.

As you know, the Hawks went on to win Game 1—predominantly due to the motivation stemming from my Tweet no doubt—and appear to have a shot at actually advancing to the second round.

I’m still infinitely confident that the Hawks, as they always do, will find a way to blow this series at home and my stomach will remain safe from any unwanted substances. But just in case the Hawks do pull off the unimaginable, I want to reiterate my proposal to the masses and give Hawks fans across the city an opportunity for retribution.

The winning item of digestion—as determined by the number of tweets/comments—must be legal, edible and non-hazardous (sorry).

I’ll document the whole thing via webcam for your enjoyment, but as I mentioned, the likelihood of having to go through with it is minimal as the Hawks will lose three of the next four and once again be ousted from the postseason before the month of May.