An Open Letter to LA Fitness at Atlantic Station
Dear Fitness Overlords:
You are so big and awesome. Your gym is so new and shiny, it’s like it’s from the future. (Or at least from the set of Logan’s Run.) But since we’re now neighbors (Look out the window! I’m waving! That’s me!), I’d like to offer one teensy tweak for you to consider when you’re doing your internal year-end review:
Please get rid of your mirrors. They’re a little ... how to put this? ... unforgiving. See, I’ve got a touch of body dysmorphic disorder. So I bought this mirror from Ikea for, like, $10. It’s makes me look like I’m a mile away, and within 5 pounds of Brad Pitt. I love that mirror. Your mirrors show me up close, like I’m right there, and they put me within 5 pounds of current-day Val Kilmer. Can you at least discuss funhouse mirrors? Anything but an accurate representation of reality would be appreciated.