Books - Women, wine, and psalms from Sean Fahie

Letters to Lovers Who Love to Hate Me' reveals life of an artist as a work-in-progress

Tuesday December 2, 2014 04:00 am EST

If a conversation with Sean Fahie is going well, you'll know it by his laugh. The freelance artist and creative scene curator behind the AB+L Radio show "The Influencers" has been living out loud since immersing himself in Atlanta's cultural landscape. He arrived here from Savannah six years ago. In that time, the St. Croix, Virgin Islands native added author to his bucket list. His second book, Letters to Lovers Who Love to Hate Me, is off-the-cuff existentialism and man-up optimism mixed with humorous, alcohol-induced ruminations on loves and half-lives lost. He pens notes to life, death, even his blackness personified. But mostly it's an open window to the soul of Fahie's ultimate work-in-progress: himself.

With the holiday shopping season in full swing, we thought Letters to Lovers would make for a great stocking stuffer — innuendo, anyone? — so we got Fahie on the line to go over some of his book's finer selling points.

You seem to have known a lot of women in your time. Are you doing Wilt Chamberlain numbers on the low?

laughs Not at all. Not even. God, I don't want those kinda problems.

I used to be a really big kid, and I didn't really consider myself good-looking. But at the same time I always had the ability to talk, which served me well as I became an adult. So I've been able to meet a lot of women just because I enjoy talking to women and hearing them talk back. That's the basis of a lot of the stuff that I've been writing. I feel like a lot of people are afraid to ask these questions of women or get to understand them. And I've been lucky enough to have some down-ass friends who tell me the truth. Or at least their truth anyway.

You do a lot of positive self-talk and embracing of your failures. Did you experience a lot of insecurity to get to that point?

As an artist, I'm always insecure. I feel like everything I do, as soon as I start it, I hate it, until it's finished and then I'm like, 'Oh that wasn't that bad.' laughs I have no qualms over talking about my insecurities. I think being able to discuss them also makes me stronger. I'm aware that I'm just a human being like everyone else, and we all have faults. On the flip side of that, we also have our strengths.

Do you ever get bitter?

Yeah, when I get bitter I get drunk and go on Twitter and rant. But I only do it at, like, three in the morning, so no one sees it anyway. laughs

At one point, you write, "I wasted those tears trying to care a long time ago." So many people know you by your laugh. But is there a side we don't see that sheds tears sometimes?

Oh, yeah. I guess my girl can tell you better. I definitely have those moments. I have a video I call my emo video. And I put the video on, lay in my bed, and curl up like a ball. That's every so often. Just when life shits on you and you're, like, I need a moment, like, I gotta disappear. I always say it's harder to stay positive. It's like going to the gym and working out. It's real easy to get down on yourself and be negative. And I also believe that you should live in those emotions and get them out. That way you can move past them. There are definitely those days, though, of beating myself up over something silly. Thirty minutes later I'm like, why did I even care?

Number three on your "Short Drunken List on the Meaning of Life" reads: "Sex is fun but it's not everything. Love someone now so you can hate them later."

I think that's just how love works. You fall in love real hard in hopes that you will continue to be in love. But if it doesn't work out you just end up hating the person. laughs But there's nothing wrong with that. Cause it's the whole process, you love them, then you hate them, then you move on. And eventually you might never see them. But it's a duality. You can't have love without the bad parts. And you can't enjoy the bad parts without the love.

Do you continue to communicate with women from your past?

Some of them. Actually they stop talking to me is what happens. laughs

Why do you think that is?

I don't know, honestly. I keep trying to figure that out. That's why I'm writing these books.

Do you think you've paid the price in relationships by choosing the life of a freelance artist?

Oh yeah, definitely. And it's nobody's fault. ... I understand it. When you're deciding to do something like this, it's for you. It's not for anybody else. No one's life walk is for anybody else; it's for that individual. So when I'm fortunate enough to have somebody in my life for however long, taking this journey with me, I can appreciate them being there but I can also understand if something like that would be a hindrance.

So what does your picture of success look like?

It's gonna be cliché, but having financial stability and being able to be a creator. I guess Dave Chappelle said it best. He said, 'if I can get a teacher's salary doing comedy, then I've made it.' I just want to be able to sustain and continue to create and fund these crazy ideas I have in my head. I don't need too much, man. I'm a simple dude. All I need is a '67 Lincoln Continental, suicide doors, with white interior.

One of my favorite titles that you have in the book is: "The Many Times I Fucked Up a Threesome."

laughs That's real.

Like, I don't even know what question to ask behind that.

laughs Yeah, it's happened. At least three or four times, I've fucked it up. And it's my dream. I want that so badly.

Well, keep embracing your failures, and I'm sure you'll get there.

laughs I appreciate your vote of confidence.

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